A Quick Post...

Just a quick post! - no pretty pictures today!

I have been doing an experiment on my health using BeachBody/Shakeology products. I lost 10 pounds in a month, (but nothing since - although the inches are less) and the Shakeology gave me added energy, although it didn't take away the pain or flares of my Fibromyalgia. 

For the last three weeks I have been in a pretty ornery flare, with a lot of nausea, sweats and chills, pain, back spasms and fatigue. While I did drink the shakeology during this time, it didn't take any of the symptoms away, or improve them that I could tell. It did however give me good nutrition during the times that I couldn't cook or feel like getting "real food" besides a nutritional supplement. 

I was so hoping that this would be a magic bullet and that all my wildest dreams of being healthy again would come true. Sadly, that wasn't my experience. At least not totally. And not enough to continue to spend $130 month on a nutritional supplement. 

I am continuing my subscription to the Beach Body on Demand though, as I like their yoga programs. I will re-visit the program question when my year subscription is up next July. Until then I'll enjoy the yoga programs. I find that they are gentle like I need, and I like how I can change up my workouts. I do feel stronger when I exercise. . . when I have enough energy to do it! Not so much the last three weeks. 

While I am sad that I didn't find something that would work long term through Beach Body / shakeology, I am not through fighting. I have learned that I feel better when I am active, but that I need to do gentle exercises for my body. I have learned that I need to eat well and clean, and that water, water, water is a key to detoxing my body and keeping weight off. I have learned that there are awesome people in the world that I didn't know before, and I love celebrating their weightloss milestones with them, and seeing them regain their health. I just can't keep up with them. And I was stressing myself out trying to!

I have learned better how to pace myself. . . a never ending lesson! I have learned that I need to put my health on a front burner instead of the back burner, and that's it's ok to make time for myself to be healthy. I have also learned that there are a lot of Fibro-Warriors out there that are looking for the very thing that I am looking for. 

And like you, I am not done fighting. I am not done looking for something to give me back my life. I am also not done writing this blog! Let's just say that I am just getting started!

While the blog may go through a metamorphosis, it will still follow my health and things that I am trying. Since this blog is ad-free, I don't feel a "need" to write when I don't feel well. So there may be times that this blog will go into a lull, but I'm not going away. I have found that the voices out there that speak to Fibro-Health are few at best. The news is old, and pinterest has all the same old articles with new pictures on them. But I am willing to share what I find, when I find it.

With that said, I hope that everyone has a wonderful day. I hope that you stay positive, and know that someone is praying for all of us that struggle with Chronic Illnesses. (it's me). 

-Erlyn

Caterpillar . . . Chrysalis . . .and Painted Lady Butterflies

I taught my four youngest children at home instead of sending them to a public school. We homeschooled for 11 years, and I have taught everything from pre-K through trigonometry. I LOVED having my kids home, and I loved teaching them, spending the days watching them learn and have their A-HA moments. They showed me the world through new eyes over and over again! It was a blessing in my life and one of the best and most awesome things that I have ever done! 

And it was HARD!

And it required a sacrifice on my part, but I wouldn't trade those days for anything!

One of the things we (I say "we" because the teacher always learns more than the students!) learned about was the life cycle of the butterfly. Its an awesome thing to teach kids about the life cycle because the butterfly cycle can be observed in a fairly short amount of time. 

We ordered a butterfly kit from Carolina Biological and while we waited for our caterpillars to arrive, we went on nature walks to observe caterpillars in the wild, and identify those little critters that lived in our area. We drew the different species in our nature notebooks, we discussed life cycles of different animals and we did the rest of our studies.

Our butterfly kit FINALLY arrived and we excitedly opened up the big box! Inside was a caterpillar habitat, food, instructions and some cute little caterpillars just waiting to eat and be played with! My kids were thrilled as they let those caterpillars walk on their fingers and get to know them.

After a couple of weeks our little caterpillars were big fat caterpillars! one morning we came down to our school room to find a few crysalis' hanging from the branches. Now the anticipation would begin!

We watched . . . we waited . . . we looked up how long it would take for those baby butterflies to emerge. . .  we waited . . .  patiently . . .  

And then the morning arrived! As we entered the school room, and the kids inspected the habitat, there were these precious butterflies sitting on the branches drying their little wings. The butterflies were very patient as they inspected their world through new eyes.

We observed them for quite awhile, and then the time came to release them out into this big wonderful world we live in. There were four butterflies and four kids, so each of my children were able to release a butterfly.

When we got outside we opened the habitat but the little butterflies just perched on their little branch with no movement. So each child carefully put their hand in the habitat and let a butterfly climb onto their finger. We expected the butterflies to fly away when they got out of their habitat . . But. They. Didn't! 

This behavior surprised me. Nowhere in our studies or the instructions told of this butterfly behavior. We ended up staying outside for over an hour as the butterflies got used to their new world. 

First the butterflies sat on the kids fingers, and then they would take little short flights around the kids, landing on their shirts or on their heads. The butterflies seemed in no hurry to leave. After they were used to flitting. they would go inspect the flowers and then come back to the kids. It was amazing to watch this process. After an hour the butterflies gained the experience and confidence they needed to leave the kids and fly off into the world. . . and then we went back to our studies.    

As I sat here this morning with this sweet memory of my children, I reflected on how those butterflies are like people as we come upon any new experience. 

For me, it's becoming healthy again. For you, it might be a new move with different people, or going to college, or even moving to a new country, job, or family! It might be that you have survived a natural disaster like the sweet people of Texas and their current struggles with Hurricane Harvey. These things can leave us with trepidation and anxiety. Change can be hard! Especially when it moves us out of our comfort zones - our habitat.

When we choose to stay in our situations, we stay stuck!  

Those butterflies, as cute as they were, would not have survived in their habitat for long.

We had caterpillar food. 

They needed nectar! 

We had an enclosed space of about 1x1x1 square feet! 

They had wings and needed to fly! 

We had hands that loved to play with the critters 

and they had wings, that if touched, would become damaged and not allow them to fly and find food. 

It was necessary, even CRITICAL, that those butterflies take the leap, learn to fly, and leave the safety of their habitat.

And so it is with us also!

Our safe spaces provide us with "food" ie; sustenance that might not be the best for our bodies - in my case it would be gluten, sugar and caffeine. When in reality my body really needs NO gluten, natural sugars and vitamins. When I eat this way I feel better, I don't hurt as much, and oddly enough, my mood is better and I'm a much nicer person to be around! But I find that when I am stressed I crave chocolate and diet coke. BUT if I eat that stuff I feel horrible, am not nice and crave the crappy food even more!

What kind of safe space have you made for yourself? Does it keep you away from experiencing something better that the world has to offer you? Is there a better alternative to the choices you are making now? Do you crave things because it eases your stress and is "easier" than doing the healthy alternative?

My habitat, if not clean and organized causes me stress which affects my health. While I don't have the energy to "scrub" my house like I like it, I CAN keep it organized and the garbage cans emptied and the dishes done . . . and the laundry. (pooh. I hate laundry!) But if I do these few things, it reduces my stress which helps my health! So even though it exhausts me at times to do these things, I do them because its worth it! When I choose these activities, I am changing my confined habitat to one that is better for my life!

I REALLY do not like laundry. >:(

What is your habitat? What choices do you make in it so that you can move forward and have peace and happiness? Is it critical for you that you change the condition of YOUR habitat?

Like my children's hands that could damage the wings of their precious butterflies, do we have damaging influences around us that will/can/are holding us back from attaining our freedom or a better life?

I found that I was doing just that! I was allowing - did you see that word? I ALLOWED others to  determine my happiness. Like those cute butterflies I  was hanging around influences that could damage my wings. Some of those influences were  my own thoughts and expectations, actions of others, indecision and being afraid to open a new door to  a new life!

Do you do that?

Do you hang around damaging influences, and refuse to fly?

I hope not. I hope you have the courage to fly!

I have found that as I continue on my journey it becomes necessary that I change. If I don't make the changes then I may just as well not start my journey at all. If I want change to happen, I need to be the change.

While I haven't arrived at my butterfly stage yet, I HAVE moved past the fat caterpillar stage! 

Like that nice scar on my stomach? THAT is from one of my invisible illnesses. After 25 years of suffering from Ulcerative Colitis, I had my large intestine removed and now am the happy owner of a j-pouch after 3 months on an ostomy bag. I love my scar. To me, it means LIFE! . . . my scar is 13 1/2 inches!

I have done Beach Body workouts for a month now and just completed my first round of Yoga! That might not sound like a big deal to most people, but it was a huge hurdle for me to overcome! I've had to start over a few sessions which put me behind about 10 days. But I didn't quit! And I came off the victor! I came in on my own time and slower than most, but I finished none-the-less! When the session was done I put my hands up in "touch-down" formation and cheered for myself! You would cheer too after losing 9.6 pounds and 7 inches in ONE month!!!! SCORE!!!!

Yes, it WAS that big of a deal! Yes, I am learning it's ok to be happy for ME! And yes, I am learning it's ok to be successful!

I am also drinking Shakeology every day and it's helping. I am eating clean - as much as I can - (I was totally stressed today after going to the grocery store AGAIN to get salad fixins for the hubster which he ended up not eating because he got mad that I wasn't doing exactly what he wanted when he wanted it! - after shopping with my 93 year old mom - that's exhausting and a recipe for a migraine every week) that I confess to buying milk chocolate peanut clusters and eating them the whole way home when I really just needed good food and some rest! 

I hope that with my journey I can learn to forgive myself as easily as I can forgive others. I hope as I am developing in my chrysalis that I can emerge as beautiful as those butterflies! That I can love the people around me as much as those little critters appeared to love my children. And I hope that I will have the courage to embrace my new self and all the world has to offer. The awesome thing is that like those little butterflies, I get to bring my little awesome butterfly friends along with me when I emerge. . . 

because they are the ones that have been supporting me through my journey.

Thank you sweetie hubster for putting up with me on all my bad days! And having fun with me on the good ones! 

. . . and one day I will emerge like those beautiful Painted Lady Butterflies!

INSOMNIA!!!!!

It has been a TOUGH week!

This week hasn't been so pleasant health wise. I've had my share of migraines and fibro-pain, but the thing that threw my week into a whirlwind is the stupid

Man! When that hits me, it just throws me into a loop!

I wake up ANGRY that I didn't get any sleep! At least it feels that way to me!

I'm pissed off the whole night because I toss and turn, and WANT to sleep, but I just CAN'T! Have you ever woken up angry? It just seems to last the whole day!

And I sleep next to my cuddly hubster and he falls asleep within MINUTES of his head hitting the pillow! 

Do you know what it's like to not be able to sleep, while you are laying there by someone who is stealing your zzzz's?

Yeah. It's not so fun!

I woke up so ticked off that my first thing to do was to look up

"ugly people" on google images to be able to post a picture of what I felt like. . . Not a great idea. I felt worse than that and it wasn't fair to those people to post their pictures on a post where I am ranting!

So I looked up insomnia cartoons on pinterest. That was better. I wasn't labeling people and some of the cartoons made me laugh, which was just what I needed!

Although I woke up feeling crappy, I was disciplined enough to do my yoga. I actually had missed a few days due to just feeling wiped out from the Fibromyalgia and Migraines that I started the 3rd week over. I'm so glad that I did. 

After stretching out and warming up, I already felt better, and it helped with the migraine that I had from lack of sleep. Yoga and a medical cocktail that is. (Thank you Dr. G!)

By the time the yoga was done 30 minutes later, I felt better than I did when I got up and was able to go about my day. I thought I'd sleep better but....

.... I stayed up til after midnight again because my brain was too awake from lack of sleep! I know that sounds so backwards, but that is INSOMNIA! It's a wicked little brain trick. . . my brain won't shut off. . . 

When I have insomnia, I lay there, and do this!

At that point I do one of a few things. 

• Turn on the TV

• Pin Pinterest on Insomnia, Migraine or Fibromyalgia, because I KNOW what is coming in the morning...

• Go eat something. Sometimes I don't realize I'm hungry. It takes energy to sleep. These are the times that I think of the little ones that have to go to bed without food. It makes me sad. If I can't sleep because of this, and they are in the same situation, how do they function and learn and grow. . . which makes my insomnia worse. Prayer helps.

• Turn around on my bed so my head is facing the bottom, and turn on my heating pad to keep my feet warm.

• Cuddle with the hubster. I like this one.

While I was doing my insomnia research, I found this graphic above. That's a scary thing for most of us. I think Insomnia is pretty wide spread, and I don't think people realize how serious it can be.

There is help out there. My neurologist has given me some help. I am not a medical expert, neither do I fancy being sued or held accountable for other peoples medical problems, so if you need medical help with this, go see your doctor.

But I can pass on the advice my doc gave me:

• go to bed at a set time every night

• turn the lights down low 1 hour before bedtime

• don't watch t.v. in bed, or read, or anything electronic

• stop all electronic devices when you turn the lights down low

• sleep in a cool room

• don't consume caffeine . . . AT ALL

So, it's been three nights without a good nights sleep. My fibro and migraines are having a party in my body. 

BUT

I have kept up on my exercises for those three days

and I have drunk my shakeology.

I grog around my house until about 8pm, and then I wake up.

But guess what?

And that is my plan!

Although I am on a health and fitness journey, I have to allow my body to rest when it needs it,

eat nutritious food and learn to say "NO". 

(I have a really difficult time with that last one!)

But when this flare is over.... I'm coming back as the FIRE!

Have a great day everyone!

Shakeology Recipe of the day:

Double Chocolate Peanut Butter

In a blender add:

8-12 oz cold water

1 scoop chocolate vegan shakeology

2 tsp natural peanut butter or other nut butter

1 green container spinach

1/2 tablespoon natural cocoa

1/4 tsp cayenne pepper (anti-inflamatory)

ice

Blend! Drink to your health!

Honor Thy Father and Thy Mother...

These are my parents!

I look like my mom, and I act like my dad...

I didn't realize how true this statement was until I saw this picture! LOL

... I also have my dad's health. Thanks Dad. . .

My dad passed away 5 1/2 years ago, and recently my mom decided it was time to move to independent living at Legacy Retirement Village. . . She's almost 93 . . . and got tired of cleaning the house and PULLING WEEDS! That woman's a beast!

She is also the one who taught me how to clean.

And I'm not saying "clean" but "CLEAN".

It wasn't done right until the CORNERS were clean!

UGH!

So Yesterday, my sister Pam and I went up and finished cleaning the house to get it on the market to sell. By finish up, I mean the top floor. My sister Susan and her husband cleaned the bottom floor and garage.

The Top Floor . . . FOR SEVEN - 7 - SEVEN HOURS!

My name is Erlyn . . . and Scrubbing is my hobby.

Thanks Mom . . .

While I was scrubbing the tub I reflected on the blessing that my dad left my mom. He worked hard to pay off their house in 15 years instead of the 30 years on their mortgage.

He contemplated doing a reverse mortgage, but decided against it.

And now I was cleaning this very same house that I grew up in, and he paid off early, so that my mom could live the rest of her life in security, comfort, having meals prepared, housekeeping and maintenance taken care of, and people around her that lived in her generation and can talk about WWII and know how it FEELS to have gone through that, have kids the same age, and someone to check on her daily.

I didn't have to worry about my mom anymore being broke into (she always kept her back door unlocked) and being harmed, or falling down the stairs and no one there to help her. 

As I reflected on this blessing that my dad provided for my mom, I just breathed a "Thanks Dad" as I felt him near.

Parents are a blessing in our lives . . .

Whether or not we get along 24/7. . . 

And if you're a crappy parent, make things right... NOW.

I didn't always get along with my dad. Our personalities were too similar. But in his later years, every time he saw me he told me how grateful he was that I came into his family. (I'm a bonus baby). He made sure that I knew that he loved me, and told me how awesome I was. That made me feel good after so many years of not getting along with each other.

I think it was having kids that put such a stress on our family. After I married and moved out, my parents got along great. So if you're in this boat, hang in there. AND forgive each other. I know that there was a lot of forgiveness on both my parent's sides. It helped make my siblings and my adult lives more stable, and a great example of marriage for all of us.

My parent's were married almost 70 years when my dad passed. What an achievement!

Because of time constraints, and an aching body, I counted scrubbing floors, cupboards, cabinets, bathrooms and the kitchen as a good replacement for my yoga.

. . . except I don't hurt like this after yoga . . .

I could hardly wait to get home and take a bath! Not only to get clean, but to relax my muscles!!! Yay Epsom Salts!

One could say that I felt as much joy as this!

I think that picture pretty much explains things!

Today I actually got up at 9am! instead of noon to 2pm that I was planning on! WHAAAAT????

That is so odd! But I can say that I have been drinking the Shakeology every day. Again, I think that there is something to this Shake. . .

I was able to get up this morning, earlier than expected, and do my yoga and actually MOVE! even though I woke up stiff!

I am going to have my Shakeology after I write this blog, and then I'm going to clean my OWN house! 

Heaven only knows Mom's house smells way better than my own! So I'm going to take the training my mom gave me on cleaning and apply it here! FINALLY!

My hubster is hopeful, and says he'll believe it when he sees it. Smart Alek!

(He usually proves me wrong... I hope he's not right today)

So to conclude, I just want to post a few pictures that I took with my faithful selfie-stick! Pam and I took my Mom down to Saint George, Utah last summer for a trip to Tuachan to see the shows, a drive to Virgin City to see where Mom's Great-Grandfather, Alexander Wright, helped settle the Cotton Mission with the Mormon Pioneers, and to happen upon the greatest wood-fired pizza! YUM! We had a wonderful time with my mom and am so grateful we took the opportunity to spend that time with her! This summer would have been too late. The trip would just be too much for her to handle right now.

Pam, Mom and I at Tuachan, playing with the selfie stick!

Being "Sexy" at Tuachan

Whoops! I found the "fish-eye" lens! Let the FUN Begin!

I am having WAY too much fun! We started making faces in this
fish-eye lens, and then got the kids sitting in front of us involved.
.... Selfie Sticks can reach through crowds y'all!!!

Zions Canyon I believe...???

We found the wood-fired pizza on the side of the road. Since we were
on an adventure, Pam yells out from the back seat,
"Go see what that is!" as we drove past.U-turns are
in my repertoire' so we headed back! So glad we did!

Mom with PIZZA!!!

In Virgin City, mom pointing to her grandfathers name
 "William Walters Wright" on a city monument.

Close-up of Mom pointing to her grandfathers name

Mom thought this was the home where her
great Grandfather might
have lived in Virgin City, Utah.

Mom and I at the Virgin City Cemetary at the grave of
Alexander Wright
a Mormon Pioneer
and the first LDS missionary to Scotland.
Companion of Elder Mulliner

I am so grateful for my parents!

They gave me life, they gave me a great heritage of which I am proud to be a descendant of.

But most of all, they gave me Love.

Thanks Mom and Dad. You are AWESOME!

and I love you!

Alice Taylor Groneman and Earl Rose Groneman Jr.

I hope you take this day to be grateful for your parents and your family. There is good in all people. Sometimes we just need to look a little bit deeper, be a little more grateful, and express our love first. It makes miracles happen. Trust me on this. The blog post is long enough.

I am off to my Shakeology and scrubbing my own house!

Here's what I'm making today!

Shakeology of the Day:

in a blender add:

8-12 oz cold water or *almond milk

1 scoop Chocolate Vegan Shakeology

1 small or 1/2 large banana

1/2 tsp almond flavor

1/2 tsp Cinnamon (helps with inflammation)

1/2 tsp nutmeg

1-2 cups cubed Ice

Blend until Ice is slushy and you have a "shake" :)

*1 yellow

1 purple

1 red

Drink to your health!

**** if you would like to try or buy shakeology, you can go to my website, http://www.shakeology.com/en_US/?sn=fibrocoach

Have a great day! -Erlyn

Fibromyalgia is Like Bumping Your Elbow...

Fibromyalgia Flares Suck!

But they don't need to suck the life out of your life. Even if you are stuck on the couch ALL. DAY. LONG.

Today has been one of those days that I appreciate more the people that fight with Chronic Illness. The Invisible Illnesses that no one sees, and judges this community for being hypochondriacs. I know you do, because i used to be in your gang! If you can't see the illness, then it must not be there, right? What a bunch of whiners! That used to be my thoughts. I'm sorry for my past thoughts years ago. I was wrong.

Most days I personally feel pretty good. As long as I have spared the "spoons" and only use what are allotted per day. (You can find information on the spoon theory here.)

Yesterday I was doing pretty good, and tried to watch my spoons. . . until it was time to bake the Sourdough bread I made. It ended up taking 1 1/2 hours to bake because I made a BIG loaf! Augh! I ended up going to bed at 1am. Not a smart move after so much activity and starting the day yesterday with a migraine. But the bread needed baking. I used extra spoons and today I paid for it.

My WHOLE body hurts! Even the joints in my fingers and toes. The analogy of fibromyalgia feeling like hitting your elbow is the analogy I shared with my husband a few months ago when we were on a cruise. (The photo above with the analogy is from that cruise) I think he finally understood.

So while I have laid here on the couch today, feeling normal in my head, but regretting getting up and doing things as needed, I have had a few thoughts.

• Yoga pants are just as good as pajama pants - probably better because they are like compression pants and hug your butt and legs, helping them to not hurt as much as they could! 

• Humor is appreciated, even if I don't feel like laughing. It helps me be happy, and appreciative of good times during crappy days.

• It's a nice thing that you can piggy-back medicine for pain to refrain from opioids. It helps take the edge off - even if it doesn't take the pain away. It makes it bearable.

• Just because you have a hard day doesn't mean you aren't fighting the fight. Some days are just harder than others, and it's ok to rest to live to fight another day.

• Probably the most productive thing I learned today is that I can still do my yoga on a pain day. After having to rest after a hot bath today, and then resting after making food, I finally had the energy and desire to do my 3-Week Yoga Retreat from Beach Body. I felt better for a few minutes after the workout. More tired, but not as achy. It was a good trade. Then I drank my Shakeology with Cinnamon, Cayenne Pepper and Pineapple to reduce inflammation.

• And I'm thankful for Shakeology to give me some energy and reduce my hunger when I don't have the energy to make food. . . much less take a shower...

I hope that everyone had an awesome day today and learned something on your own journey! 

As for me? It's time to just rest... so I can go eat and finish my Container's of food to meet my calories for the day. I am still committed to living the Beach Body diet, doing the exercises, drinking the Shakeology and writing my experiences. Today has been tough, and honestly, writing this blog today has taken way more energy than I should have spent. But I am determined to chronicle my journey in case it works! If it does, I need to leave a path for others to follow. 

Instead of ending with a recipe today, I'm going to end with a poem that I love. 

The Bridge Builder

BY WILL ALLEN DROMGOOLE

An old man going a lone highway,

Came, at the evening cold and gray,

To a chasm vast and deep and wide.

Through which was flowing a sullen tide

The old man crossed in the twilight dim,

The sullen stream had no fear for him;

But he turned when safe on the other side

And built a bridge to span the tide.

“Old man,” said a fellow pilgrim near,

“You are wasting your strength with building here;

Your journey will end with the ending day,

You never again will pass this way;

You’ve crossed the chasm, deep and wide,

Why build this bridge at evening tide?”

The builder lifted his old gray head;

“Good friend, in the path I have come,” he said,

“There followed after me to-day

A youth whose feet must pass this way.

This chasm that has been as naught to me

To that fair-haired youth may a pitfall be;

He, too, must cross in the twilight dim;

Good friend, I am building this bridge for him!”