Showing posts with label Victory. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Victory. Show all posts

Friday, September 1, 2017

Caterpillar . . . Chrysalis . . .and Painted Lady Butterflies



I taught my four youngest children at home instead of sending them to a public school. We homeschooled for 11 years, and I have taught everything from pre-K through trigonometry. I LOVED having my kids home, and I loved teaching them, spending the days watching them learn and have their A-HA moments. They showed me the world through new eyes over and over again! It was a blessing in my life and one of the best and most awesome things that I have ever done! 

And it was HARD!

And it required a sacrifice on my part, but I wouldn't trade those days for anything!

One of the things we (I say "we" because the teacher always learns more than the students!) learned about was the life cycle of the butterfly. Its an awesome thing to teach kids about the life cycle because the butterfly cycle can be observed in a fairly short amount of time. 



We ordered a butterfly kit from Carolina Biological and while we waited for our caterpillars to arrive, we went on nature walks to observe caterpillars in the wild, and identify those little critters that lived in our area. We drew the different species in our nature notebooks, we discussed life cycles of different animals and we did the rest of our studies.



Our butterfly kit FINALLY arrived and we excitedly opened up the big box! Inside was a caterpillar habitat, food, instructions and some cute little caterpillars just waiting to eat and be played with! My kids were thrilled as they let those caterpillars walk on their fingers and get to know them.

After a couple of weeks our little caterpillars were big fat caterpillars! one morning we came down to our school room to find a few crysalis' hanging from the branches. Now the anticipation would begin!

We watched . . . we waited . . . we looked up how long it would take for those baby butterflies to emerge. . .  we waited . . .  patiently . . .  

And then the morning arrived! As we entered the school room, and the kids inspected the habitat, there were these precious butterflies sitting on the branches drying their little wings. The butterflies were very patient as they inspected their world through new eyes.



We observed them for quite awhile, and then the time came to release them out into this big wonderful world we live in. There were four butterflies and four kids, so each of my children were able to release a butterfly.

When we got outside we opened the habitat but the little butterflies just perched on their little branch with no movement. So each child carefully put their hand in the habitat and let a butterfly climb onto their finger. We expected the butterflies to fly away when they got out of their habitat . . But. They. Didn't! 




This behavior surprised me. Nowhere in our studies or the instructions told of this butterfly behavior. We ended up staying outside for over an hour as the butterflies got used to their new world. 

First the butterflies sat on the kids fingers, and then they would take little short flights around the kids, landing on their shirts or on their heads. The butterflies seemed in no hurry to leave. After they were used to flitting. they would go inspect the flowers and then come back to the kids. It was amazing to watch this process. After an hour the butterflies gained the experience and confidence they needed to leave the kids and fly off into the world. . . and then we went back to our studies.    


As I sat here this morning with this sweet memory of my children, I reflected on how those butterflies are like people as we come upon any new experience. 

For me, it's becoming healthy again. For you, it might be a new move with different people, or going to college, or even moving to a new country, job, or family! It might be that you have survived a natural disaster like the sweet people of Texas and their current struggles with Hurricane Harvey. These things can leave us with trepidation and anxiety. Change can be hard! Especially when it moves us out of our comfort zones - our habitat.

When we choose to stay in our situations, we stay stuck!  

Those butterflies, as cute as they were, would not have survived in their habitat for long.
We had caterpillar food. 
They needed nectar! 
We had an enclosed space of about 1x1x1 square feet! 
They had wings and needed to fly! 
We had hands that loved to play with the critters 
and they had wings, that if touched, would become damaged and not allow them to fly and find food. 

It was necessary, even CRITICAL, that those butterflies take the leap, learn to fly, and leave the safety of their habitat.

And so it is with us also!

Our safe spaces provide us with "food" ie; sustenance that might not be the best for our bodies - in my case it would be gluten, sugar and caffeine. When in reality my body really needs NO gluten, natural sugars and vitamins. When I eat this way I feel better, I don't hurt as much, and oddly enough, my mood is better and I'm a much nicer person to be around! But I find that when I am stressed I crave chocolate and diet coke. BUT if I eat that stuff I feel horrible, am not nice and crave the crappy food even more!

What kind of safe space have you made for yourself? Does it keep you away from experiencing something better that the world has to offer you? Is there a better alternative to the choices you are making now? Do you crave things because it eases your stress and is "easier" than doing the healthy alternative?

My habitat, if not clean and organized causes me stress which affects my health. While I don't have the energy to "scrub" my house like I like it, I CAN keep it organized and the garbage cans emptied and the dishes done . . . and the laundry. (pooh. I hate laundry!) But if I do these few things, it reduces my stress which helps my health! So even though it exhausts me at times to do these things, I do them because its worth it! When I choose these activities, I am changing my confined habitat to one that is better for my life!

I REALLY do not like laundry. >:(


What is your habitat? What choices do you make in it so that you can move forward and have peace and happiness? Is it critical for you that you change the condition of YOUR habitat?

Like my children's hands that could damage the wings of their precious butterflies, do we have damaging influences around us that will/can/are holding us back from attaining our freedom or a better life?

I found that I was doing just that! I was allowing - did you see that word? I ALLOWED others to  determine my happiness. Like those cute butterflies I  was hanging around influences that could damage my wings. Some of those influences were  my own thoughts and expectations, actions of others, indecision and being afraid to open a new door to  a new life!

Do you do that?
Do you hang around damaging influences, and refuse to fly?

I hope not. I hope you have the courage to fly!



I have found that as I continue on my journey it becomes necessary that I change. If I don't make the changes then I may just as well not start my journey at all. If I want change to happen, I need to be the change.

While I haven't arrived at my butterfly stage yet, I HAVE moved past the fat caterpillar stage! 

Like that nice scar on my stomach? THAT is from one of my invisible illnesses. After 25 years of suffering from Ulcerative Colitis, I had my large intestine removed and now am the happy owner of a j-pouch after 3 months on an ostomy bag. I love my scar. To me, it means LIFE! . . . my scar is 13 1/2 inches!


I have done Beach Body workouts for a month now and just completed my first round of Yoga! That might not sound like a big deal to most people, but it was a huge hurdle for me to overcome! I've had to start over a few sessions which put me behind about 10 days. But I didn't quit! And I came off the victor! I came in on my own time and slower than most, but I finished none-the-less! When the session was done I put my hands up in "touch-down" formation and cheered for myself! You would cheer too after losing 9.6 pounds and 7 inches in ONE month!!!! SCORE!!!!

Yes, it WAS that big of a deal! Yes, I am learning it's ok to be happy for ME! And yes, I am learning it's ok to be successful!



I am also drinking Shakeology every day and it's helping. I am eating clean - as much as I can - (I was totally stressed today after going to the grocery store AGAIN to get salad fixins for the hubster which he ended up not eating because he got mad that I wasn't doing exactly what he wanted when he wanted it! - after shopping with my 93 year old mom - that's exhausting and a recipe for a migraine every week) that I confess to buying milk chocolate peanut clusters and eating them the whole way home when I really just needed good food and some rest! 

I hope that with my journey I can learn to forgive myself as easily as I can forgive others. I hope as I am developing in my chrysalis that I can emerge as beautiful as those butterflies! That I can love the people around me as much as those little critters appeared to love my children. And I hope that I will have the courage to embrace my new self and all the world has to offer. The awesome thing is that like those little butterflies, I get to bring my little awesome butterfly friends along with me when I emerge. . . 
because they are the ones that have been supporting me through my journey.

Thank you sweetie hubster for putting up with me on all my bad days! And having fun with me on the good ones! 

. . . and one day I will emerge like those beautiful Painted Lady Butterflies!








Thursday, August 17, 2017

Sweating Is NOT My Favorite Activity!

Sweating should be forbidden when a person exercises! I do NOT like the feeling of salty sweat dripping into my eyeballs! 
It Stings folks!
And I get all sticky feeling, and I stink . . . and it's just not right! EW!



It might be because it takes too much time and energy to bathe everyday... and when you sweat, you SHOULD bathe. I'm not judging here... just making an observation...



I think the REAL reason I don't like to sweat is because with chronic illnesses, we have learned to equate sweat with some negative things in our lives...

Like:
  • if we sweat, we probably have a fever. Even though our temperature might read 98.6, for us that is could signal a fever - which means feeling feverish, then chills, then fever. then...
  • if we sweat, it means that we have over done it AGAIN because we were feeling good for awhile and got everything on our list (and then some) "accomplished" while we could.
  • If we sweat, our bodies are rebelling against us and we are headed for a flare up of whatever disease we are battling.
  • If we sweat, we have to use extra energy or "spoons" to bathe, and heaven forbid wash our hair which takes even more energy! . . . and then a nap to regain that energy if we are lucky . . .Who has time for that everyday?
  • If we sweat, and we bathe, we probably find out that we need to shave our legs because the hair on them is braid-able because we haven't had the energy to shave for awhile.
  • If we sweat, we are going to need the rest of the day to sit down, and therefore miss out on all the other plans we have made (and will have to cancel . . . AGAIN) and just watch TV instead of live. . . we live vicariously through TV reality shows often enough anyway. 
  • If we sweat, we have to admit to ourselves how "really" out of shape we are, because we have ignored our bodies "need" for exercise. But we have to ignore it because it is so far out of reach of our energy stores. Can I get a "I feel guilty" here?
  • Basically, if we sweat, we have to think, acknowledge, and either fret because we "just can't do it" or we do it and then "fret" over the consequences.


Does that sound familiar?

I'm sorry that you have to go through this in your lives.
I'm sorry that I understand what you are going through.
Chronic Illness Sucks Balls. 
Yes, I said that.
(but you and I both know that's true.)
You're welcome.

As I was thinking about sweating today (while sweat was stinging my eyeballs) and all the negative connotations it implies for someone with a chronic illness, I also started thinking about all the good things sweat does for us. Things that I had forgotten about for so long! So here's a new list to consider:

  • If we sweat, we can control the amount of sweat by following (in my case) the moderator of the activity we are doing. For instance, today I started a new exercise program through BeachBody on Demand called "The Shift Shop". (think playground games meets football training). It was really fun, and pretty intense, but they have someone doing a moderation of the exercises and you can follow that person. . . I couldn't even keep up with the moderator! But I did my best. I think I was sweating more than the hardest level person on the session was! So I controlled my amount of "sweat" or energy that way.
  • If we sweat, it means that our body is building muscle, which means that we are GETTING STRONGER. If we aren't getting stronger, we are getting weaker. That's all we need with a chronic illness . . . something else to make us feel like crap!
  • If we sweat, we REMOVE TOXINS from our bodies! Those toxins make us feel like YUK! Toxins build up in our bodies from all the meds we take, and processes that aren't working right in our bodies. Sweat is one way our bodies rid itself of some of those toxins. That's freakin' awesome right there!

  • If we sweat, we are doing something POSITIVE for ourselves, and something that no one can take away from us for today! AND we did it ourselves!
  • If we sweat, we SHOULD bathe, and that makes our loved ones love us even more! At least they will appreciate that we don't stink anymore, and that is always a good thing! 
  • If we sweat, we create endorphins, which are hormones that make us feel good. Endorphines are great for depression and help lift our spirits! Chronic Illness Warriors suffer from depression a lot! I know it's hard to start the process of sweating from exercise when you are depressed...it's the last thing we WANT to do... get out of bed and move.... but it WILL help! It will help even MORE if you get your pretty little face in the sunshine! Which will also make you sweat! 
  • If we sweat, we are taking back CONTROL of our lives. We are choosing to work to control the amount of pain we feel (instead of IT controlling US), the movement of our limbs, the strength of our muscles, and the attitude of our minds.
After thinking about this for awhile, while I still don't LIKE the way I feel when I sweat, I DON'T have to hate it. 
To be Politically Correct, I was bigoted about sweat. :) 
(If you know me, PC is something I am totally NOT! I don't think you can be truly sarcastic and be PC. . . and I enjoy sarcasm so much! It makes me happy on hard days! It's like punching hard days in the face!)



Although I'm addressing you, the reader, I am also documenting my journey with Beach Body and Shakeology and the effects that it is having on my body, my fibromyalgia, chronic migraines, j-pouch, blah, blah, blah...my health. With that said, I want to say something.

As I have been exercising, I have found that there is something else happening in my body. I haven't been quite able to pinpoint it until last night.

As I have been drinking Shakeology along with doing the Beach Body exercises, and following the food plan (basically learning portion control . . . AGAIN . . . ok, and that chocolate and diet coke are NOT a meal , it's my stress diet. . .) 

MY BODY IS HAPPIER!



Drinking Shakeology is giving me the nutrients that my body needs. I don't think my body has been able to absorb the nutrients that it needs because of all my gut issues and food sensitivities. Whenever I eat anything "clean" my body processes it pretty fast, and then dumps it. Because of that, I don't think that I was getting the nutrition that I needed, and my body went into "starvation mode".

(if your body doesn't dump [a polite way to say diarrhea] but holds on to the waste, Shakeology will help with regularity)



Starvation Mode is when your body holds on to every calorie that it gets, converts it to fat to be "stored" for a possible famine in your body due to lack of nutrition. It's very hard to lose weight this way, because your body just won't let those calories go! It saves that energy because it might need it later.

As I understand it, that causes stress on the body, which causes cortisol, another hormone, to increase. . . making MORE fat. It's a vicious cycle, and makes us feel worse.

I am starting to believe that Shakeology is allowing my body to absorb the nutrients! It's something that my body is accepting, and that is letting my body interpret nutrition! I think that alone is allowing my body to release that stored fat, and that is why I am starting to see a difference on the scale! And I'm doing it without the cravings! CRAZY!

Because of the ability to absorb that nutrition, I am also seeing my body get stronger, and having more energy. At least that is my Theory! All I know, is "SOMETHING" is starting to happen in my body.

And those are my thoughts today. Apparently I AM capable of more than this:


If you would like more information on Shakeology or Beach Body Fitness, either click on the link, or comment ME in the comments section. I hope that you have an awesome day, and do something POSITIVE for yourself today! 

YOU ARE WORTH THE FIGHT!





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Shakeology Recipe for the Day!

In a shaker bottle:

8-12 oz cold water
1 scoop Chocolate Shakeology (I use dairy/gluten free, Vegan)
1/2 tsp Cinnamon (anti-inflammatory)
1/2 tsp Ginger (anti-nausea)
1/4 tsp Nutmeg
1/4 tsp Allspice
-OR-
3/4 tsp Pumpkin Pie Spice

Shake Vigorously
(then I add ice, as I like mine REALLY cold!)

1 red container

Drink to your health!
I hope all my chronic illness friends have a great, pain free day! . . . and a few less pain meds! :)

-Erlyn

Sunday, August 13, 2017

Stop Being Sad, Start Being AWESOME!


Hey All!

Today is my Sabbath again, and I just wanted to share a little somethin' somethin' with you!

We all have a power within us called Agency, Free-Will or the power to Do What We Want.

This is a precious gift, and it's given to every single person on this earth.

With much power comes much responsibility. Our ability to control our own Happiness or our own Destiny is AMAZING!

No other creature on this earth has this ability! Do you realize that!

And yet here we are, imperfect souls floating in space on a beautiful world with everything that we need, surrounded by people who care for us, and the ability to choose to be Happy, or to be Sad.

While life isn't always perfect, we CAN choose the better part! We CAN choose to look on the bright side of things and be thankful that we don't have a harder trial than what we are dealt! We can choose to not be offended, or to not have certain people or situations in our lives.

WE CAN CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY!

or we can choose to not be happy.


When we choose happiness, we become empowered. 
We learn to stand for the things that will make us stronger. We are good to fight the good fight!


That's truth right there! We DO have the power within us!

Sometimes we are scared to whip that sucker out because it intimidates others, and sometimes it intimidates us!

But do you know what that power does?

It dispels fear!
It allows us to go a few more steps,
or hold a pose a few more breaths,
or eat one more bite of vegetables!
It encourages us to drink one more glass of water before that diet soda!
It encourages us to be the first to say Hello!
Or to help someone in need when our needs are just as great!
It helps us look up in gratitude, instead of down in defeat.
It gives us confidence and self esteem!
It allows others who aren't happy to light their own happy and be a beacon for others.
It breeds HOPE.

And... it lets us know that we are of GREAT WORTH!

My daughter made this for me when my father passed away five years ago. I have it hanging on my wall in my sewing room so I can see it all the time.




So here's to a NEW start to a NEW week with a NEW attitude!

GO OUT AND BE AWESOME!

-Erlyn

Saturday, August 12, 2017

Before Pictures and Bad Days




 Sixteen Days Ago I started with the Shakeology and Beach Body Programs. 
Normally I wouldn't take pictures this close together, but I am already starting to see a difference in my appearance. It is also apparent to my hubster!


I know it's not a HUGE change, but it is for ME!
in 16 Days I have lost 6 pounds and 3 inches off my body. If you don't think this is HUGE, then talk to any friend you have with a chronic illness and see how hard it is to lose weight! Especially THIS FAST!

I am proud of me.

I am also able to do this!








The yoga poses might not look like much to you, but they represent an amazing growth and range of motion to me! And you will notice that I am NOT falling over! Yay!

This is also a huge step for me as I have spent this past week being in a flare with multiple migraines, nausea and stiffness with pain from Fibromyalgia.
As I was going through these trials, I was able to keep a pretty good positive attitude about me, drink my shakeology and stay on the program. I did my yoga, and tried to rest the rest of the week. . . Until Yesterday.

Yesterday I hit the wall. . . or rather, the wall fell on me and buried me!


Chronic Illness Flares can feel like this!



But the world sees this!


After a week of feeling like crap and giving it my all, I gave up for a few hours yesterday. I felt hopeless because of the pain, and I didn't want to try anymore because of the fatigue and nausea. . . So I didn't.

I allowed myself to rest, I drank my shakeology because it's the only thing that was quick and nutritious. I didn't exercise. I didn't write my blog because I didn't care. I wasn't nice to my ever-patient hubster, And I spent the day feeling sorry for myself. I didn't know how I was going to coach others when I couldn't even inspire myself. Basically, I let the Fibro win. . . 
for a day.

Well, guess what!
I allowed myself to rest and not feel guilty. I gave in to my fatigue and spent til 1am looking on Pinterest pinning Fibro pins because of the Pain-somnia, (pain + Insomnia = you can't sleep because of the pain), and sleeping in today. 


It was a wise choice. Maybe not food wise, or exercise wise, but it was good for ME wise. It was good for me body wise, depression wise, fatigue wise, blog wise, and attitude wise. Sometimes those of us with chronic illnesses have to march to a different drummer than what the world wants or expects. and you know what?

IT'S OK!


I hope that you take opportunities to rest when you are weary, and laugh when you are down.

I love this picture. It's of my dad! He took his teeth out and was wearing a pirate hat. My mom about died! but my dad was having fun. I grabbed my camera! I promised him that I was displaying this picture at his funeral. After he passed, I couldn't find the picture anywhere! Turns out my daughter stole the picture! Thankfully it's floating in cyberspace and I was able to reclaim it! Laugh during the hard times!



I was too weak yesterday to write a blog, but I kept thinking that I needed to write SOMETHING! Especially if anyone is following me along! 
(Who knows - no one comments! but that's ok. I just want to inspire others with chronic illness that they can do something to become healthier than they are now!)

When I am down, I just want to laugh. It helps me through the hard times. My kids have given me the gift of laughter, and the appreciation of funny sarcasm. 


Because of their serious committment to laughter, I want to share a gem with you, to make up for yesterday. If you go to my daughter's blog (the one that stole the picture of my dad) you will totally understand the above meme. . . 
and You're Welcome.




Shakeology Recipe of the Day:

Double Chocolate Banana

In Blender Combine:

8-12 oz cold water
1 scoop chocolate Shakeology
1 Tbs organic cocoa
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1 small banana
Scoop of Ice

Blend until Ice is combined

*1 Protein, 1 fruit, 1-1/2 water on Fix containers

Drink to your health!

** IF you would like to join me on my journey, or would like more information, comment me! or like my facebook page https://www.facebook.com/BB.FibroCoach/