Hard Days and Stupid People

A recurring theme I keep seeing over and over today on different areas of social media, is what to say and to NOT say to someone with a chronic illness. The posts are pretty much the same, varying with the authors personality. And they make me laugh. 

I ask myself repeatedly WHY do people try to tell others how to be well? It seems especially rampant with those that are healthy telling those of us with chronic illness what to do and to not do. Here are a few of my favorites that have happened to me personally...

If you would only try eating Vegan then all your troubles would go away.

This comment cost me a friend, but she wouldn't drop it! She had Type 2 Diabetes (caused by food) so OF COURSE eating healthier made her feel better! After trying to explain 4 different ways to her that I can't eat all that food due to no large intestine, and that I get ... tired blood ..... Fibro fog y'all. sorry.... and need to eat red meat, she got really upset and rather rude. THAT is what the "block" button is for on social media. Some people that cause that much stress in your life do not need to be in your life. Stress averted!

If you would just try *insert supplement name here* then all your troubles will magically disappear. I did it and it worked for me.

Do you know how many pills I already take??? Unless I see/feel/determine a need and my doctor that is monitoring all those meds agrees, I am not adding another pill to my repertoire'. Thanks. but no thanks.

If you would just exercise more... 

This one is just laughable. This last weekend I started on a new round of exercises called 21 day fit. It's for beginner/beginning intermediate NORMAL people. I modify the modifier. After just two days, I woke up Sunday and found out I. Couldn't. Walk. .... neither could I muster the strength to sit on the toilet! Oh how I wished that I had handicapped hand rails in my bathroom. Needless to say I came out in tears from the pain of just trying to stand back up after the pain of trying to sit down. People just don't get it! Exercise does NOT energize us. IT STEALS OUR ENERGY RESERVES! Now I'm not saying be a lump on the couch! Do what you can do, but for heaven's sake, don't over do it to tell people that you DO exercise! They don't understand that exercise isn't refreshing to us. Sometimes it's a death blow.

If you would just push yourself a little bit harder then your body would react and you'd find yourself being able to do it easier!

Please. Just. Please. We are already perfectionists and mourn what we can't do already. We don't need the guilt that comes from your judgments. It doesn't get easier. We may get stronger for awhile, and then we crash, start again, get back up to the strength that we might have had, crash, start again. The task for us is to have the courage and the strength to get back up and keep doing the same thing over and over. . . do you know the definition of Insanity?  Well, we are the walking poster child of the definition.

If you went to this doctor, they helped my *insert relationship here* and they are better now.

Each person, and each disease that affects that person is individual. It's called "co-morbidity". EVEN IF we have exactly the same diseases, in the same areas at the same time and our last name is the same, it is different. We are different. How it affects us is different. How we react to the meds, procedures, stress levels, etc are all different. Allow us to be who we are. Chances are we know more than the doctors do about our own cases anyway. Just because your *relation* got better doesn't mean our bodies will react the same way. We are happy and excited for your relation. Offer instead to scrub our toilets. That would make us giddy!

Maybe if you got a maid your house would be cleaner and it wouldn't stress you out so much.

"Maybe you could offer to be my maid." That'll shut em up! :) hahahaha it needed to be said. As if a maid can clean and have your house stay magically clean. Chances are that the money we would use for a maid is already being spent on medicine, doctors, and therapists for people who say stupid sh**! So there isn't money left over for a maid.

If you'd just tell people 'no' more, then they wouldn't bug you so much (as they ask for only a "small" thing - which most times they don't even realize they are asking!) 

I personally just groan inwardly and roll my eyes. The absurdity and irony is totally lost on these people. 

If I could say one thing to them, and not be the kind of person I don't want to be it would be this...

Won't you be my neighbor?

Lest you think all my people fall into these categories, they don't. Only the obnoxious ones. The others are very kind. They ask how I am doing, and if I need help. They don't get offended by my cancelling plans. Again. They pick up the pieces when I fall apart and run with whatever needs doing.

And my favorite person brings home dinner when I'm too tired to cook after folding two baskets of clothes all day. He is also the same person that hugs me when I cry from pain and frustration. He's also the maid I don't want to afford, and carries me to escape when life gets too "lifey". He's also my chauffeur on days it's too exhausting to drive, my best friend when I feel like everyone just wants another piece of me, and is content to just sit by me quietly and enjoy the day because noise, lights, smells, people and stress get to be too much. He is my bodyguard with sword in hand to protect me, but allows me the graciousness of letting me fight the demon. He knows that he can't fight that fight. That the fight is mine. He is very courageous that way. I know he would fight it if he could. 

If you want to know how to help someone with chronic illness, be like my favorite person. He's got it down. And for that, I love him all the more. 

Thanks Brad. I love you!

Sweating Is NOT My Favorite Activity!

Sweating should be forbidden when a person exercises! I do NOT like the feeling of salty sweat dripping into my eyeballs! 

It Stings folks!

And I get all sticky feeling, and I stink . . . and it's just not right! EW!

It might be because it takes too much time and energy to bathe everyday... and when you sweat, you SHOULD bathe. I'm not judging here... just making an observation...

I think the REAL reason I don't like to sweat is because with chronic illnesses, we have learned to equate sweat with some negative things in our lives...

Like:

• if we sweat, we probably have a fever. Even though our temperature might read 98.6, for us that is could signal a fever - which means feeling feverish, then chills, then fever. then...

• if we sweat, it means that we have over done it AGAIN because we were feeling good for awhile and got everything on our list (and then some) "accomplished" while we could.

• If we sweat, our bodies are rebelling against us and we are headed for a flare up of whatever disease we are battling.

• If we sweat, we have to use extra energy or "spoons" to bathe, and heaven forbid wash our hair which takes even more energy! . . . and then a nap to regain that energy if we are lucky . . .Who has time for that everyday?

• If we sweat, and we bathe, we probably find out that we need to shave our legs because the hair on them is braid-able because we haven't had the energy to shave for awhile.

• If we sweat, we are going to need the rest of the day to sit down, and therefore miss out on all the other plans we have made (and will have to cancel . . . AGAIN) and just watch TV instead of live. . . we live vicariously through TV reality shows often enough anyway. 

• If we sweat, we have to admit to ourselves how "really" out of shape we are, because we have ignored our bodies "need" for exercise. But we have to ignore it because it is so far out of reach of our energy stores. Can I get a "I feel guilty" here?

• Basically, if we sweat, we have to think, acknowledge, and either fret because we "just can't do it" or we do it and then "fret" over the consequences.

Does that sound familiar?

I'm sorry that you have to go through this in your lives.

I'm sorry that I understand what you are going through.

Chronic Illness Sucks Balls. 

Yes, I said that.

(but you and I both know that's true.)

You're welcome.

As I was thinking about sweating today (while sweat was stinging my eyeballs) and all the negative connotations it implies for someone with a chronic illness, I also started thinking about all the good things sweat does for us. Things that I had forgotten about for so long! So here's a new list to consider:

• If we sweat, we can control the amount of sweat by following (in my case) the moderator of the activity we are doing. For instance, today I started a new exercise program through BeachBody on Demand called "The Shift Shop". (think playground games meets football training). It was really fun, and pretty intense, but they have someone doing a moderation of the exercises and you can follow that person. . . I couldn't even keep up with the moderator! But I did my best. I think I was sweating more than the hardest level person on the session was! So I controlled my amount of "sweat" or energy that way.

• If we sweat, it means that our body is building muscle, which means that we are GETTING STRONGER. If we aren't getting stronger, we are getting weaker. That's all we need with a chronic illness . . . something else to make us feel like crap!

• If we sweat, we REMOVE TOXINS from our bodies! Those toxins make us feel like YUK! Toxins build up in our bodies from all the meds we take, and processes that aren't working right in our bodies. Sweat is one way our bodies rid itself of some of those toxins. That's freakin' awesome right there!

• If we sweat, we are doing something POSITIVE for ourselves, and something that no one can take away from us for today! AND we did it ourselves!

• If we sweat, we SHOULD bathe, and that makes our loved ones love us even more! At least they will appreciate that we don't stink anymore, and that is always a good thing! 

• If we sweat, we create endorphins, which are hormones that make us feel good. Endorphines are great for depression and help lift our spirits! Chronic Illness Warriors suffer from depression a lot! I know it's hard to start the process of sweating from exercise when you are depressed...it's the last thing we WANT to do... get out of bed and move.... but it WILL help! It will help even MORE if you get your pretty little face in the sunshine! Which will also make you sweat! 

• If we sweat, we are taking back CONTROL of our lives. We are choosing to work to control the amount of pain we feel (instead of IT controlling US), the movement of our limbs, the strength of our muscles, and the attitude of our minds.

After thinking about this for awhile, while I still don't LIKE the way I feel when I sweat, I DON'T have to hate it. 

To be Politically Correct, I was bigoted about sweat. :) 

(If you know me, PC is something I am totally NOT! I don't think you can be truly sarcastic and be PC. . . and I enjoy sarcasm so much! It makes me happy on hard days! It's like punching hard days in the face!)

Although I'm addressing you, the reader, I am also documenting my journey with Beach Body and Shakeology and the effects that it is having on my body, my fibromyalgia, chronic migraines, j-pouch, blah, blah, blah...my health. With that said, I want to say something.

As I have been exercising, I have found that there is something else happening in my body. I haven't been quite able to pinpoint it until last night.

As I have been drinking Shakeology along with doing the Beach Body exercises, and following the food plan (basically learning portion control . . . AGAIN . . . ok, and that chocolate and diet coke are NOT a meal , it's my stress diet. . .) 

MY BODY IS HAPPIER!

Drinking Shakeology is giving me the nutrients that my body needs. I don't think my body has been able to absorb the nutrients that it needs because of all my gut issues and food sensitivities. Whenever I eat anything "clean" my body processes it pretty fast, and then dumps it. Because of that, I don't think that I was getting the nutrition that I needed, and my body went into "starvation mode".

(if your body doesn't dump [a polite way to say diarrhea] but holds on to the waste, Shakeology will help with regularity)

Starvation Mode is when your body holds on to every calorie that it gets, converts it to fat to be "stored" for a possible famine in your body due to lack of nutrition. It's very hard to lose weight this way, because your body just won't let those calories go! It saves that energy because it might need it later.

As I understand it, that causes stress on the body, which causes cortisol, another hormone, to increase. . . making MORE fat. It's a vicious cycle, and makes us feel worse.

I am starting to believe that Shakeology is allowing my body to absorb the nutrients! It's something that my body is accepting, and that is letting my body interpret nutrition! I think that alone is allowing my body to release that stored fat, and that is why I am starting to see a difference on the scale! And I'm doing it without the cravings! CRAZY!

Because of the ability to absorb that nutrition, I am also seeing my body get stronger, and having more energy. At least that is my Theory! All I know, is "SOMETHING" is starting to happen in my body.

And those are my thoughts today. Apparently I AM capable of more than this:

If you would like more information on Shakeology or Beach Body Fitness, either click on the link, or comment ME in the comments section. I hope that you have an awesome day, and do something POSITIVE for yourself today! 

YOU ARE WORTH THE FIGHT!

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Shakeology Recipe for the Day!

In a shaker bottle:

8-12 oz cold water

1 scoop Chocolate Shakeology (I use dairy/gluten free, Vegan)

1/2 tsp Cinnamon (anti-inflammatory)

1/2 tsp Ginger (anti-nausea)

1/4 tsp Nutmeg

1/4 tsp Allspice

-OR-

3/4 tsp Pumpkin Pie Spice

Shake Vigorously

(then I add ice, as I like mine REALLY cold!)

1 red container

Drink to your health!

I hope all my chronic illness friends have a great, pain free day! . . . and a few less pain meds! :)

-Erlyn

Stop Being Sad, Start Being AWESOME!

Hey All!

Today is my Sabbath again, and I just wanted to share a little somethin' somethin' with you!

We all have a power within us called Agency, Free-Will or the power to Do What We Want.

This is a precious gift, and it's given to every single person on this earth.

With much power comes much responsibility. Our ability to control our own Happiness or our own Destiny is AMAZING!

No other creature on this earth has this ability! Do you realize that!

And yet here we are, imperfect souls floating in space on a beautiful world with everything that we need, surrounded by people who care for us, and the ability to choose to be Happy, or to be Sad.

While life isn't always perfect, we CAN choose the better part! We CAN choose to look on the bright side of things and be thankful that we don't have a harder trial than what we are dealt! We can choose to not be offended, or to not have certain people or situations in our lives.

WE CAN CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY!

or we can choose to not be happy.

When we choose happiness, we become empowered. 

We learn to stand for the things that will make us stronger. We are good to fight the good fight!

That's truth right there! We DO have the power within us!

Sometimes we are scared to whip that sucker out because it intimidates others, and sometimes it intimidates us!

But do you know what that power does?

It dispels fear!

It allows us to go a few more steps,

or hold a pose a few more breaths,

or eat one more bite of vegetables!

It encourages us to drink one more glass of water before that diet soda!

It encourages us to be the first to say Hello!

Or to help someone in need when our needs are just as great!

It helps us look up in gratitude, instead of down in defeat.

It gives us confidence and self esteem!

It allows others who aren't happy to light their own happy and be a beacon for others.

It breeds HOPE.

And... it lets us know that we are of GREAT WORTH!

My daughter made this for me when my father passed away five years ago. I have it hanging on my wall in my sewing room so I can see it all the time.

So here's to a NEW start to a NEW week with a NEW attitude!

GO OUT AND BE AWESOME!

-Erlyn

Before Pictures and Bad Days

 Sixteen Days Ago I started with the Shakeology and Beach Body Programs. 

Normally I wouldn't take pictures this close together, but I am already starting to see a difference in my appearance. It is also apparent to my hubster!

I know it's not a HUGE change, but it is for ME!

in 16 Days I have lost 6 pounds and 3 inches off my body. If you don't think this is HUGE, then talk to any friend you have with a chronic illness and see how hard it is to lose weight! Especially THIS FAST!

I am proud of me.

I am also able to do this!

The yoga poses might not look like much to you, but they represent an amazing growth and range of motion to me! And you will notice that I am NOT falling over! Yay!

This is also a huge step for me as I have spent this past week being in a flare with multiple migraines, nausea and stiffness with pain from Fibromyalgia.

As I was going through these trials, I was able to keep a pretty good positive attitude about me, drink my shakeology and stay on the program. I did my yoga, and tried to rest the rest of the week. . . Until Yesterday.

Yesterday I hit the wall. . . or rather, the wall fell on me and buried me!

Chronic Illness Flares can feel like this!

But the world sees this!

After a week of feeling like crap and giving it my all, I gave up for a few hours yesterday. I felt hopeless because of the pain, and I didn't want to try anymore because of the fatigue and nausea. . . So I didn't.

I allowed myself to rest, I drank my shakeology because it's the only thing that was quick and nutritious. I didn't exercise. I didn't write my blog because I didn't care. I wasn't nice to my ever-patient hubster, And I spent the day feeling sorry for myself. I didn't know how I was going to coach others when I couldn't even inspire myself. Basically, I let the Fibro win. . . 

for a day.

Well, guess what!

I allowed myself to rest and not feel guilty. I gave in to my fatigue and spent til 1am looking on Pinterest pinning Fibro pins because of the Pain-somnia, (pain + Insomnia = you can't sleep because of the pain), and sleeping in today. 

It was a wise choice. Maybe not food wise, or exercise wise, but it was good for ME wise. It was good for me body wise, depression wise, fatigue wise, blog wise, and attitude wise. Sometimes those of us with chronic illnesses have to march to a different drummer than what the world wants or expects. and you know what?

IT'S OK!

I hope that you take opportunities to rest when you are weary, and laugh when you are down.

I love this picture. It's of my dad! He took his teeth out and was wearing a pirate hat. My mom about died! but my dad was having fun. I grabbed my camera! I promised him that I was displaying this picture at his funeral. After he passed, I couldn't find the picture anywhere! Turns out my daughter stole the picture! Thankfully it's floating in cyberspace and I was able to reclaim it! Laugh during the hard times!

I was too weak yesterday to write a blog, but I kept thinking that I needed to write SOMETHING! Especially if anyone is following me along! 

(Who knows - no one comments! but that's ok. I just want to inspire others with chronic illness that they can do something to become healthier than they are now!)

When I am down, I just want to laugh. It helps me through the hard times. My kids have given me the gift of laughter, and the appreciation of funny sarcasm. 

Because of their serious committment to laughter, I want to share a gem with you, to make up for yesterday. If you go to my daughter's blog (the one that stole the picture of my dad) you will totally understand the above meme. . . 

and You're Welcome.

www.dearpersonreadingthis.blogspot.com

Shakeology Recipe of the Day:

Double Chocolate Banana

In Blender Combine:

8-12 oz cold water

1 scoop chocolate Shakeology

1 Tbs organic cocoa

1/2 tsp nutmeg

1 small banana

Scoop of Ice

Blend until Ice is combined

*1 Protein, 1 fruit, 1-1/2 water on Fix containers

Drink to your health!

** IF you would like to join me on my journey, or would like more information, comment me! or like my facebook page https://www.facebook.com/BB.FibroCoach/