Elephant Dung and A Dog's Energy . . . Yes Please!

I've been doing a lot of research the last couple of days for a healthy, somewhat equivalent nutrient dense shake that I can replace my shakeology with. While I didn't get the sustained energy boost from Shakeology that I was hoping for, my body DOES like the nutrition my gut can absorb from a nutrient dense shake! Sometimes it's tough to be able to absorb all the nutrition you need with chronic diarrhea from not having a large intestine due to j-pouch surgery. (TMI??) The shake has been awesome that way. . . just not $130/month awesome. . . not without the energy of a dog or a 2-year-old boy!

Facebook is LOADED with advertisements for the 310 shake. Advertising works so naturally I looked at that one first. Advertising good, shake not the best... although I DID like the price! After checking them out I started looking at different websites and blogs to see comparables between the different shakes available.  The best blog that was updated with WAY more information than I can process with fibro-brain is this one. I took all my new-found knowledge and went to amazon to read the reviews. 

I ended up choosing

Garden of Life Meal Replacement - Organic Raw Plant Based Protein Powder, Chocolate, Vegan, Gluten-Free

I read the BEST WORST review of this product and am going to copy it here because it's too funny not to share.

Customer Review

3.0 out of 5 starsThe difinitive review of...whatever is actually in this tub.

ByJDL303on March 28, 2014

Flavor: Vanilla|Size: Large|Verified Purchase

First off, the short version: This is the worst tasting stuff I've ever actually put in my mouth, and I just ordered another tub.

It's amazing what the human body can get used to. Seriously. The taste is bad. Like ground up elephant dung mixed with sand.

A little about me: 38, used to be in shape, then got kinda fat and decided to do something about it which entailed T-25 and an improved diet. I also waited to write this review until after I had finished my first tub of Raw Meal and went to regular protein powder instead so that I could compare the results. Let it be known that I am not a raw foods, vegan, vegetarian, health or excersize nut or anything like that. Just a regular guy trying to correct years of eating and drinking whatever it occoured to me at the time to consume.
Part of my diet is a breakfast smoothie, which is where this product came in. I read the reviews (just like you) and decided to give it a go because I had no intention of drinking it straight, but instead was planning to mix it as an ingredient in my smoothie. The other things I blend in my smoothie include ice, juice, almondmilk, frozen berries, ground flax, and chia seeds. The first day I added this to my smoothie, I thought someone must have mixed up at the Raw Meal factory and put ground up latex paint in a tub and sent it over. Awful. Really bad. Anyway, I got that choked down, and decided to try it again the next day...and the day after that...and so on. Every day it got slightly less bad and eventually became something I got used to like paying taxes, going to the dentist, or spending time with my in-laws.
The problem started one day when I made my wife's smoothie too thick (Did I mention that I make a smoothie for both of us in the morning? The only difference between them is that she refuses to drink the Raw Meal and instead gets regular vanilla protein powder.) and had to drink it down a little to put more liquid in. OMG. It tasted like licking angel tears off a unicorn's horn. I couldn't believe it. So good. Then I mixed up my Raw Meal smoothie and cried.
I finished my Raw Meal about 2 weeks ago, and went back to regular protein powder. There really is no compairison when it comes to taste. The only way they could make the Raw Meal taste worse would be if they somehow added durian fruit to it. New problem is that taste isn't the only thing to consider here. With the protein powder, I'm HUNGRY in an hour. With the Raw Meal, I wasn't hungry for lunch until early afternoon. Now whether this is because it keeps you from feeling hungry because it's so great, or because it makes you a little nauseous for several hours is up for debate. All I can say is that I'm eating a bunch more food now than I was when Raw Meal was part of my diet.
Now lets do some Pros and Cons:
Cons:
Absolutely everything that has to do with sensory percetion of Raw Meal. Taste, smell, sight, texture, etc. They are all really bad. Have I made that clear? Only some vegan who'd given up on life would think this stuff tastes good.
Pros:
Everything else. Feel better. Full for longer. Eat less. Poop better. Etc.
It's really a good product, it just tastes like the south end of a north bound rhino.
A couple of things I've found to make it tollerable:
Mix it with more liquid than it reccommends. This stuff is THICK and gets thicker the longer it sits. If you were to let it sit for an hour, you could probably lay bricks with it.
Never mix a banana with it. Bananas make it WAY thicker than it already is. You'd have to eat it with a spoon.
Drink it kinda quickly. No need to sit around and sip this stuff.
I never even tried it without mixing it in a smoothie, and I never will. Do yourself the same favor, and at least put some juice or something with it.
In conclusion, if taste is important to you, look elsewhere. If you can deal with putting this in your mouth and are more interested in the nutritional benefits, you can't beat this product. Understand that your body will get used to it if you force it to. You'll probably be glad you did.

Oh my gosh! This makes me laugh so hard!

Well, needless to say, I ordered myself a large tub of chocolate elephant dung mixed with sand. It should be here right before I run out of my chocolate shakeology. I'll keep you posted...

A Quick Post...

Just a quick post! - no pretty pictures today!

I have been doing an experiment on my health using BeachBody/Shakeology products. I lost 10 pounds in a month, (but nothing since - although the inches are less) and the Shakeology gave me added energy, although it didn't take away the pain or flares of my Fibromyalgia. 

For the last three weeks I have been in a pretty ornery flare, with a lot of nausea, sweats and chills, pain, back spasms and fatigue. While I did drink the shakeology during this time, it didn't take any of the symptoms away, or improve them that I could tell. It did however give me good nutrition during the times that I couldn't cook or feel like getting "real food" besides a nutritional supplement. 

I was so hoping that this would be a magic bullet and that all my wildest dreams of being healthy again would come true. Sadly, that wasn't my experience. At least not totally. And not enough to continue to spend $130 month on a nutritional supplement. 

I am continuing my subscription to the Beach Body on Demand though, as I like their yoga programs. I will re-visit the program question when my year subscription is up next July. Until then I'll enjoy the yoga programs. I find that they are gentle like I need, and I like how I can change up my workouts. I do feel stronger when I exercise. . . when I have enough energy to do it! Not so much the last three weeks. 

While I am sad that I didn't find something that would work long term through Beach Body / shakeology, I am not through fighting. I have learned that I feel better when I am active, but that I need to do gentle exercises for my body. I have learned that I need to eat well and clean, and that water, water, water is a key to detoxing my body and keeping weight off. I have learned that there are awesome people in the world that I didn't know before, and I love celebrating their weightloss milestones with them, and seeing them regain their health. I just can't keep up with them. And I was stressing myself out trying to!

I have learned better how to pace myself. . . a never ending lesson! I have learned that I need to put my health on a front burner instead of the back burner, and that's it's ok to make time for myself to be healthy. I have also learned that there are a lot of Fibro-Warriors out there that are looking for the very thing that I am looking for. 

And like you, I am not done fighting. I am not done looking for something to give me back my life. I am also not done writing this blog! Let's just say that I am just getting started!

While the blog may go through a metamorphosis, it will still follow my health and things that I am trying. Since this blog is ad-free, I don't feel a "need" to write when I don't feel well. So there may be times that this blog will go into a lull, but I'm not going away. I have found that the voices out there that speak to Fibro-Health are few at best. The news is old, and pinterest has all the same old articles with new pictures on them. But I am willing to share what I find, when I find it.

With that said, I hope that everyone has a wonderful day. I hope that you stay positive, and know that someone is praying for all of us that struggle with Chronic Illnesses. (it's me). 

-Erlyn

Braiding Traffic

I just need to say one thing. . . LOS ANGELES DRIVERS ARE CRAZY!!!  (My apologies to any Los Angelos readers who are used to your traffic! but Oh. My. Heck. )

I've been in Los Angeles for the last few days with my sixth child. She just got a promotion to be a manager for PF Changs and has relocated to California. I came out to keep her company for a week, and as such got the privilege of driving with her for 30 miles and 2 hours to work! I was ok with the commute because it gave us time to talk which was awesome! I got to keep her car during the day so I didn't have to hang out at the restaurant for 10 hours before we went home. I chose to drive back through the traffic and go back to her apartment in Ventura County. Every day.

So . . . with Google Maps as my best friend, I drove the 405 myself. People are NUTS!

There are so many one-person per car drivers that are trying to get places as fast as possible. I have never noticed so many lane changes in such a short distance in my life! As I observed these drivers during the week I started to notice something. The traffic looked like it was braiding the lanes on the highway. I started to enjoy the experience and found it fascinating that so many people could drive so aggressively and not get into an accident!

I have also never seen such quick lane changes! They just zipped back and forth as if the traffic was going too slow. (in all actuality, it was. When I wasn't stopped, I drove 5-8 miles per hour).

The first day I drove in the far right lanes and went my own speed that I was comfy with. If I was too slow, I knew they would zip around me and pass. (I found out the middle lane was best when I took an unexpected detour through some part of LA that I had no idea where I was, but it was a tad deserted and dark! again, thank goodness for Google maps!)

By the end of the week I was doing some fancy traffic braiding myself! AND lived to tell about it!

I learned a few things while I've had this unexpected opportunity.

First, I can drive in LA traffic and be successful.

Second, driving in LA traffic takes a LOT of time! Usually I spend that time doing my exercises. I haven't been as successful with my workouts there as I usually am because of the time it takes for that commute! I even wore my workout clothes with good intentions, and it didn't matter! I just ended up wearing the workout clothes all day without bathing because they were comfortable!!! (Thank goodness Rachel will be changing restaurants next week that will cut her commute time!)

Third, I am gaining more empathy, understanding, compassion, and love for my children who insist on being their own adult person and not my little child. I find that while our lifestyles don't necessarily match, I love my children fiercely! I love spending time with them, and it doesn't matter which child it is, I cry like a little baby when I have to tell them good-bye . . . even if they drive me to the airport in their lion costume that we bought together for Halloween! . . . mine is a unicorn . . . hahahahaha. Just making memories folks, just making memories!

Rachel in her Lion Costume - which she wore to take
me to the LA Airport...

Me in my Unicorn costume

Sara holding Canyon, The Hubster, and Alek. I cried like a
baby telling these kids goodbye just 2 weeks earlier!

Fourth is that Shakeology really does help with energy and cravings. While I haven't been able to workout like I would like to, I did drink my nutrient dense shake every day! Having Fibromyalgia and having to get up at 5:45 a.m. more days than I would like (which is I don't like to get up in the morning), and spending most of this week in traffic for 5-6  hours a day, I expected to have to rest more than I did. Instead I was able to clean the apartment and car to get rid of all the dog hair that she ended up being allergic to, as well as painting a landscape for her apartment. . . The day that I forgot to drink the shakeology until after dinner I craved Diet Coke ALL DAY! I finally just bought a small one - mmmmm. It still tastes as good as I remember - and when I got home I had my shake. I didn't miss a day after that!

Oh the meaning in this picture. Rachel knows all the symbolism in it.

Fifth and final is that God is merciful to those that ask. He places tender mercies in our lives when we need them (ie; my health this week), And when we aren't aware of His presence (I tried to feel His spirit with me all week, but sometimes I got so busy I forgot to "feel"). And He blesses us with people and knowledge at the times we need it most. (This one is personal, so you'll just have to trust me). Sometimes we don't see His hand in our lives until after the journey. But if we take the time to reflect, we can see his footprints and influence woven throughout our lives . . . much like I observed the Los Angeles traffic braiding the lanes on the highway.

I feel very blessed to have had a week with my sweet daughter. I miss being a young mom. I miss having my children around me every day. I miss their funny-ness and the entertainment value that young children bring to our lives. I miss THEM!

The only thing that makes it ok for my children to move on, is that I have some great children-spouses that I love as much as I love my children - so now I have 12 children so far! And with those marriages come an even greater blessing. My grandchildren. . . who are just as funny and entertaining as their parents were!

My children and grandchildren at Cornbelly's today. Not all, but most are here. 

Sometimes God puts unexpected blessings in our lives as an added bonus. This past week was one for me. I feel very humbled that I was able to braid traffic, spend time with my awesome family, and see the hand of God in my life while having the health to enjoy all of the above!


Shakeology Recipe in LA

Good ole chocolate, in a shaker bottle with 12 oz water and a little ice! . . . you can drink it while you drive on the freeway!

Cardio is Fun?

A week ago I finished my 3 Week Yoga Retreat. I loved those exercises, even though they were hard.  I could feel my body getting stronger. I lost over 10 pounds and 9 inches with that 3 week retreat (don't let the name fool you. I have Fibromyalgia, and that 3 weeks was more like 4 1/2 weeks...) but I finished it. I reported it on Team BeachBody, and then I decided to try a new exercise session. . . and I wanted the t-shirt and the bragging rights that went with it! So I decided to go with "21-Day Fix". 21 days. Another 3-weeker. (4 1/2 weeker wink wink). The promise of a free t-shirt reward. I found my next exercise.

I started with Day 1- Total Body Cardio. Not bad. A little sore, but not bad! 

Day 2 - Still Sore. Oh Good. Upper Body. I can handle this.

Day 3 -  Someone who shall remain nameless forgot to take their meds and now can't walk. No Exercises today!

Day 4 -  Can't walk. No exercises for me today!

Day 5 -  Still can't walk well, but am tired from just sitting around. My BRAIN isn't sick. just my BODY hates me. Oh Good. Pilates.

And then Today...

Day 6 - Cardio Fix. . . NOOOOOOO!!!!!!

And So It Begins...

C - Cats. Because cats are way better than cardio. They smell better and they are all cuddly. No one wants to cuddle after you do cardio! Because you stink! Cats don't mind if you stink though. . . in fact, I think they like it...maybe it's just the salty after-taste.

A- Arms. Have you ever noticed that cardio can't be done without waving your arms all over kingdom come?? It's like your heart won't beat if you don't flag down the passing train! My heart beats hard enough just getting out of bed in the morning! 

R- Rosy Cheeks are a must when one does cardio. I think it comes from holding your breath while trying to keep up with the modifier! 

D- Death Wish. Does this one really need explaining?

I- I want this session to end please . . . and then you hear "Push Yourself!". Uhh.... nope!

O- Oh My Gosh, I'm going to die! I really meant it when I said, "I want this session to end please!" It is also the shape my lips make while trying to breathe!

I- I am wondering if I made the right choice of exercises, because I am dying here! I have to modify the modifier, and I'm still having a hard time. Man this Fibro has totally turned my life upside down! . . . I really want that Free t-shirt! If nothing else gets me through these sessions, this awesome t-shirt promise will!

S- Sucker! Autumn Calabrese and her *BONUS* exercises. Today she was saying how we know she likes to throw a bonus exercise in there! "It's not optional. It's a bonus. Get off your booty and get to work!" I showed her though. I sat on my booty and waved down the passing train!

F- Fetal Position. It's the position I want to take when instructed to take "child's pose" for that 3 second rest I've earned! I don't though. I take a 5-second rest instead. Pretending that I have to "watch" the modifier to see the whole move. 

U- Underwear. Either pick them out or don't wear them. I'll let you decide. 

N- Not your Richard Simmons Cardio! Beach Body Cardio on the 21 day Fix is not Richard Simmons sweatin'-to-the-oldies. It's New Age kick your butt cardio with a swim-suit competitor as the drill sergeant! Richard Simmons was kind to old ladies. Autumn Calabrese doesn't care what your age is. She put a modifier in there for a reason. Get off your booty and MOVE!

And so I finished the whole 30 minutes with not one swear! It's probably because I couldn't breathe. but I finished it! I found that it wasn't as bad as the first Total Body Cardio - who has two thumbs and remembered to take their medicine! 

I even did the dishes when I was done! That's all the energy I had for the day, but I did them. 

I am finding that even though I am in a flare right now, the shakeology is helping with a little added energy. It's also helping me feel a little bit better than I normally do. 

And...

It's getting me one step closer to that sweet free t-shirt! If that isn't a reason to kick my butt .... I mean move my booty every morning, I don't know what is!

Just Kidding!

. . . But I really do want that t-shirt. 

Hard Days and Stupid People

A recurring theme I keep seeing over and over today on different areas of social media, is what to say and to NOT say to someone with a chronic illness. The posts are pretty much the same, varying with the authors personality. And they make me laugh. 

I ask myself repeatedly WHY do people try to tell others how to be well? It seems especially rampant with those that are healthy telling those of us with chronic illness what to do and to not do. Here are a few of my favorites that have happened to me personally...

If you would only try eating Vegan then all your troubles would go away.

This comment cost me a friend, but she wouldn't drop it! She had Type 2 Diabetes (caused by food) so OF COURSE eating healthier made her feel better! After trying to explain 4 different ways to her that I can't eat all that food due to no large intestine, and that I get ... tired blood ..... Fibro fog y'all. sorry.... and need to eat red meat, she got really upset and rather rude. THAT is what the "block" button is for on social media. Some people that cause that much stress in your life do not need to be in your life. Stress averted!

If you would just try *insert supplement name here* then all your troubles will magically disappear. I did it and it worked for me.

Do you know how many pills I already take??? Unless I see/feel/determine a need and my doctor that is monitoring all those meds agrees, I am not adding another pill to my repertoire'. Thanks. but no thanks.

If you would just exercise more... 

This one is just laughable. This last weekend I started on a new round of exercises called 21 day fit. It's for beginner/beginning intermediate NORMAL people. I modify the modifier. After just two days, I woke up Sunday and found out I. Couldn't. Walk. .... neither could I muster the strength to sit on the toilet! Oh how I wished that I had handicapped hand rails in my bathroom. Needless to say I came out in tears from the pain of just trying to stand back up after the pain of trying to sit down. People just don't get it! Exercise does NOT energize us. IT STEALS OUR ENERGY RESERVES! Now I'm not saying be a lump on the couch! Do what you can do, but for heaven's sake, don't over do it to tell people that you DO exercise! They don't understand that exercise isn't refreshing to us. Sometimes it's a death blow.

If you would just push yourself a little bit harder then your body would react and you'd find yourself being able to do it easier!

Please. Just. Please. We are already perfectionists and mourn what we can't do already. We don't need the guilt that comes from your judgments. It doesn't get easier. We may get stronger for awhile, and then we crash, start again, get back up to the strength that we might have had, crash, start again. The task for us is to have the courage and the strength to get back up and keep doing the same thing over and over. . . do you know the definition of Insanity?  Well, we are the walking poster child of the definition.

If you went to this doctor, they helped my *insert relationship here* and they are better now.

Each person, and each disease that affects that person is individual. It's called "co-morbidity". EVEN IF we have exactly the same diseases, in the same areas at the same time and our last name is the same, it is different. We are different. How it affects us is different. How we react to the meds, procedures, stress levels, etc are all different. Allow us to be who we are. Chances are we know more than the doctors do about our own cases anyway. Just because your *relation* got better doesn't mean our bodies will react the same way. We are happy and excited for your relation. Offer instead to scrub our toilets. That would make us giddy!

Maybe if you got a maid your house would be cleaner and it wouldn't stress you out so much.

"Maybe you could offer to be my maid." That'll shut em up! :) hahahaha it needed to be said. As if a maid can clean and have your house stay magically clean. Chances are that the money we would use for a maid is already being spent on medicine, doctors, and therapists for people who say stupid sh**! So there isn't money left over for a maid.

If you'd just tell people 'no' more, then they wouldn't bug you so much (as they ask for only a "small" thing - which most times they don't even realize they are asking!) 

I personally just groan inwardly and roll my eyes. The absurdity and irony is totally lost on these people. 

If I could say one thing to them, and not be the kind of person I don't want to be it would be this...

Won't you be my neighbor?

Lest you think all my people fall into these categories, they don't. Only the obnoxious ones. The others are very kind. They ask how I am doing, and if I need help. They don't get offended by my cancelling plans. Again. They pick up the pieces when I fall apart and run with whatever needs doing.

And my favorite person brings home dinner when I'm too tired to cook after folding two baskets of clothes all day. He is also the same person that hugs me when I cry from pain and frustration. He's also the maid I don't want to afford, and carries me to escape when life gets too "lifey". He's also my chauffeur on days it's too exhausting to drive, my best friend when I feel like everyone just wants another piece of me, and is content to just sit by me quietly and enjoy the day because noise, lights, smells, people and stress get to be too much. He is my bodyguard with sword in hand to protect me, but allows me the graciousness of letting me fight the demon. He knows that he can't fight that fight. That the fight is mine. He is very courageous that way. I know he would fight it if he could. 

If you want to know how to help someone with chronic illness, be like my favorite person. He's got it down. And for that, I love him all the more. 

Thanks Brad. I love you!

Caterpillar . . . Chrysalis . . .and Painted Lady Butterflies

I taught my four youngest children at home instead of sending them to a public school. We homeschooled for 11 years, and I have taught everything from pre-K through trigonometry. I LOVED having my kids home, and I loved teaching them, spending the days watching them learn and have their A-HA moments. They showed me the world through new eyes over and over again! It was a blessing in my life and one of the best and most awesome things that I have ever done! 

And it was HARD!

And it required a sacrifice on my part, but I wouldn't trade those days for anything!

One of the things we (I say "we" because the teacher always learns more than the students!) learned about was the life cycle of the butterfly. Its an awesome thing to teach kids about the life cycle because the butterfly cycle can be observed in a fairly short amount of time. 

We ordered a butterfly kit from Carolina Biological and while we waited for our caterpillars to arrive, we went on nature walks to observe caterpillars in the wild, and identify those little critters that lived in our area. We drew the different species in our nature notebooks, we discussed life cycles of different animals and we did the rest of our studies.

Our butterfly kit FINALLY arrived and we excitedly opened up the big box! Inside was a caterpillar habitat, food, instructions and some cute little caterpillars just waiting to eat and be played with! My kids were thrilled as they let those caterpillars walk on their fingers and get to know them.

After a couple of weeks our little caterpillars were big fat caterpillars! one morning we came down to our school room to find a few crysalis' hanging from the branches. Now the anticipation would begin!

We watched . . . we waited . . . we looked up how long it would take for those baby butterflies to emerge. . .  we waited . . .  patiently . . .  

And then the morning arrived! As we entered the school room, and the kids inspected the habitat, there were these precious butterflies sitting on the branches drying their little wings. The butterflies were very patient as they inspected their world through new eyes.

We observed them for quite awhile, and then the time came to release them out into this big wonderful world we live in. There were four butterflies and four kids, so each of my children were able to release a butterfly.

When we got outside we opened the habitat but the little butterflies just perched on their little branch with no movement. So each child carefully put their hand in the habitat and let a butterfly climb onto their finger. We expected the butterflies to fly away when they got out of their habitat . . But. They. Didn't! 

This behavior surprised me. Nowhere in our studies or the instructions told of this butterfly behavior. We ended up staying outside for over an hour as the butterflies got used to their new world. 

First the butterflies sat on the kids fingers, and then they would take little short flights around the kids, landing on their shirts or on their heads. The butterflies seemed in no hurry to leave. After they were used to flitting. they would go inspect the flowers and then come back to the kids. It was amazing to watch this process. After an hour the butterflies gained the experience and confidence they needed to leave the kids and fly off into the world. . . and then we went back to our studies.    

As I sat here this morning with this sweet memory of my children, I reflected on how those butterflies are like people as we come upon any new experience. 

For me, it's becoming healthy again. For you, it might be a new move with different people, or going to college, or even moving to a new country, job, or family! It might be that you have survived a natural disaster like the sweet people of Texas and their current struggles with Hurricane Harvey. These things can leave us with trepidation and anxiety. Change can be hard! Especially when it moves us out of our comfort zones - our habitat.

When we choose to stay in our situations, we stay stuck!  

Those butterflies, as cute as they were, would not have survived in their habitat for long.

We had caterpillar food. 

They needed nectar! 

We had an enclosed space of about 1x1x1 square feet! 

They had wings and needed to fly! 

We had hands that loved to play with the critters 

and they had wings, that if touched, would become damaged and not allow them to fly and find food. 

It was necessary, even CRITICAL, that those butterflies take the leap, learn to fly, and leave the safety of their habitat.

And so it is with us also!

Our safe spaces provide us with "food" ie; sustenance that might not be the best for our bodies - in my case it would be gluten, sugar and caffeine. When in reality my body really needs NO gluten, natural sugars and vitamins. When I eat this way I feel better, I don't hurt as much, and oddly enough, my mood is better and I'm a much nicer person to be around! But I find that when I am stressed I crave chocolate and diet coke. BUT if I eat that stuff I feel horrible, am not nice and crave the crappy food even more!

What kind of safe space have you made for yourself? Does it keep you away from experiencing something better that the world has to offer you? Is there a better alternative to the choices you are making now? Do you crave things because it eases your stress and is "easier" than doing the healthy alternative?

My habitat, if not clean and organized causes me stress which affects my health. While I don't have the energy to "scrub" my house like I like it, I CAN keep it organized and the garbage cans emptied and the dishes done . . . and the laundry. (pooh. I hate laundry!) But if I do these few things, it reduces my stress which helps my health! So even though it exhausts me at times to do these things, I do them because its worth it! When I choose these activities, I am changing my confined habitat to one that is better for my life!

I REALLY do not like laundry. >:(

What is your habitat? What choices do you make in it so that you can move forward and have peace and happiness? Is it critical for you that you change the condition of YOUR habitat?

Like my children's hands that could damage the wings of their precious butterflies, do we have damaging influences around us that will/can/are holding us back from attaining our freedom or a better life?

I found that I was doing just that! I was allowing - did you see that word? I ALLOWED others to  determine my happiness. Like those cute butterflies I  was hanging around influences that could damage my wings. Some of those influences were  my own thoughts and expectations, actions of others, indecision and being afraid to open a new door to  a new life!

Do you do that?

Do you hang around damaging influences, and refuse to fly?

I hope not. I hope you have the courage to fly!

I have found that as I continue on my journey it becomes necessary that I change. If I don't make the changes then I may just as well not start my journey at all. If I want change to happen, I need to be the change.

While I haven't arrived at my butterfly stage yet, I HAVE moved past the fat caterpillar stage! 

Like that nice scar on my stomach? THAT is from one of my invisible illnesses. After 25 years of suffering from Ulcerative Colitis, I had my large intestine removed and now am the happy owner of a j-pouch after 3 months on an ostomy bag. I love my scar. To me, it means LIFE! . . . my scar is 13 1/2 inches!

I have done Beach Body workouts for a month now and just completed my first round of Yoga! That might not sound like a big deal to most people, but it was a huge hurdle for me to overcome! I've had to start over a few sessions which put me behind about 10 days. But I didn't quit! And I came off the victor! I came in on my own time and slower than most, but I finished none-the-less! When the session was done I put my hands up in "touch-down" formation and cheered for myself! You would cheer too after losing 9.6 pounds and 7 inches in ONE month!!!! SCORE!!!!

Yes, it WAS that big of a deal! Yes, I am learning it's ok to be happy for ME! And yes, I am learning it's ok to be successful!

I am also drinking Shakeology every day and it's helping. I am eating clean - as much as I can - (I was totally stressed today after going to the grocery store AGAIN to get salad fixins for the hubster which he ended up not eating because he got mad that I wasn't doing exactly what he wanted when he wanted it! - after shopping with my 93 year old mom - that's exhausting and a recipe for a migraine every week) that I confess to buying milk chocolate peanut clusters and eating them the whole way home when I really just needed good food and some rest! 

I hope that with my journey I can learn to forgive myself as easily as I can forgive others. I hope as I am developing in my chrysalis that I can emerge as beautiful as those butterflies! That I can love the people around me as much as those little critters appeared to love my children. And I hope that I will have the courage to embrace my new self and all the world has to offer. The awesome thing is that like those little butterflies, I get to bring my little awesome butterfly friends along with me when I emerge. . . 

because they are the ones that have been supporting me through my journey.

Thank you sweetie hubster for putting up with me on all my bad days! And having fun with me on the good ones! 

. . . and one day I will emerge like those beautiful Painted Lady Butterflies!