Caterpillar . . . Chrysalis . . .and Painted Lady Butterflies

I taught my four youngest children at home instead of sending them to a public school. We homeschooled for 11 years, and I have taught everything from pre-K through trigonometry. I LOVED having my kids home, and I loved teaching them, spending the days watching them learn and have their A-HA moments. They showed me the world through new eyes over and over again! It was a blessing in my life and one of the best and most awesome things that I have ever done! 

And it was HARD!

And it required a sacrifice on my part, but I wouldn't trade those days for anything!

One of the things we (I say "we" because the teacher always learns more than the students!) learned about was the life cycle of the butterfly. Its an awesome thing to teach kids about the life cycle because the butterfly cycle can be observed in a fairly short amount of time. 

We ordered a butterfly kit from Carolina Biological and while we waited for our caterpillars to arrive, we went on nature walks to observe caterpillars in the wild, and identify those little critters that lived in our area. We drew the different species in our nature notebooks, we discussed life cycles of different animals and we did the rest of our studies.

Our butterfly kit FINALLY arrived and we excitedly opened up the big box! Inside was a caterpillar habitat, food, instructions and some cute little caterpillars just waiting to eat and be played with! My kids were thrilled as they let those caterpillars walk on their fingers and get to know them.

After a couple of weeks our little caterpillars were big fat caterpillars! one morning we came down to our school room to find a few crysalis' hanging from the branches. Now the anticipation would begin!

We watched . . . we waited . . . we looked up how long it would take for those baby butterflies to emerge. . .  we waited . . .  patiently . . .  

And then the morning arrived! As we entered the school room, and the kids inspected the habitat, there were these precious butterflies sitting on the branches drying their little wings. The butterflies were very patient as they inspected their world through new eyes.

We observed them for quite awhile, and then the time came to release them out into this big wonderful world we live in. There were four butterflies and four kids, so each of my children were able to release a butterfly.

When we got outside we opened the habitat but the little butterflies just perched on their little branch with no movement. So each child carefully put their hand in the habitat and let a butterfly climb onto their finger. We expected the butterflies to fly away when they got out of their habitat . . But. They. Didn't! 

This behavior surprised me. Nowhere in our studies or the instructions told of this butterfly behavior. We ended up staying outside for over an hour as the butterflies got used to their new world. 

First the butterflies sat on the kids fingers, and then they would take little short flights around the kids, landing on their shirts or on their heads. The butterflies seemed in no hurry to leave. After they were used to flitting. they would go inspect the flowers and then come back to the kids. It was amazing to watch this process. After an hour the butterflies gained the experience and confidence they needed to leave the kids and fly off into the world. . . and then we went back to our studies.    

As I sat here this morning with this sweet memory of my children, I reflected on how those butterflies are like people as we come upon any new experience. 

For me, it's becoming healthy again. For you, it might be a new move with different people, or going to college, or even moving to a new country, job, or family! It might be that you have survived a natural disaster like the sweet people of Texas and their current struggles with Hurricane Harvey. These things can leave us with trepidation and anxiety. Change can be hard! Especially when it moves us out of our comfort zones - our habitat.

When we choose to stay in our situations, we stay stuck!  

Those butterflies, as cute as they were, would not have survived in their habitat for long.

We had caterpillar food. 

They needed nectar! 

We had an enclosed space of about 1x1x1 square feet! 

They had wings and needed to fly! 

We had hands that loved to play with the critters 

and they had wings, that if touched, would become damaged and not allow them to fly and find food. 

It was necessary, even CRITICAL, that those butterflies take the leap, learn to fly, and leave the safety of their habitat.

And so it is with us also!

Our safe spaces provide us with "food" ie; sustenance that might not be the best for our bodies - in my case it would be gluten, sugar and caffeine. When in reality my body really needs NO gluten, natural sugars and vitamins. When I eat this way I feel better, I don't hurt as much, and oddly enough, my mood is better and I'm a much nicer person to be around! But I find that when I am stressed I crave chocolate and diet coke. BUT if I eat that stuff I feel horrible, am not nice and crave the crappy food even more!

What kind of safe space have you made for yourself? Does it keep you away from experiencing something better that the world has to offer you? Is there a better alternative to the choices you are making now? Do you crave things because it eases your stress and is "easier" than doing the healthy alternative?

My habitat, if not clean and organized causes me stress which affects my health. While I don't have the energy to "scrub" my house like I like it, I CAN keep it organized and the garbage cans emptied and the dishes done . . . and the laundry. (pooh. I hate laundry!) But if I do these few things, it reduces my stress which helps my health! So even though it exhausts me at times to do these things, I do them because its worth it! When I choose these activities, I am changing my confined habitat to one that is better for my life!

I REALLY do not like laundry. >:(

What is your habitat? What choices do you make in it so that you can move forward and have peace and happiness? Is it critical for you that you change the condition of YOUR habitat?

Like my children's hands that could damage the wings of their precious butterflies, do we have damaging influences around us that will/can/are holding us back from attaining our freedom or a better life?

I found that I was doing just that! I was allowing - did you see that word? I ALLOWED others to  determine my happiness. Like those cute butterflies I  was hanging around influences that could damage my wings. Some of those influences were  my own thoughts and expectations, actions of others, indecision and being afraid to open a new door to  a new life!

Do you do that?

Do you hang around damaging influences, and refuse to fly?

I hope not. I hope you have the courage to fly!

I have found that as I continue on my journey it becomes necessary that I change. If I don't make the changes then I may just as well not start my journey at all. If I want change to happen, I need to be the change.

While I haven't arrived at my butterfly stage yet, I HAVE moved past the fat caterpillar stage! 

Like that nice scar on my stomach? THAT is from one of my invisible illnesses. After 25 years of suffering from Ulcerative Colitis, I had my large intestine removed and now am the happy owner of a j-pouch after 3 months on an ostomy bag. I love my scar. To me, it means LIFE! . . . my scar is 13 1/2 inches!

I have done Beach Body workouts for a month now and just completed my first round of Yoga! That might not sound like a big deal to most people, but it was a huge hurdle for me to overcome! I've had to start over a few sessions which put me behind about 10 days. But I didn't quit! And I came off the victor! I came in on my own time and slower than most, but I finished none-the-less! When the session was done I put my hands up in "touch-down" formation and cheered for myself! You would cheer too after losing 9.6 pounds and 7 inches in ONE month!!!! SCORE!!!!

Yes, it WAS that big of a deal! Yes, I am learning it's ok to be happy for ME! And yes, I am learning it's ok to be successful!

I am also drinking Shakeology every day and it's helping. I am eating clean - as much as I can - (I was totally stressed today after going to the grocery store AGAIN to get salad fixins for the hubster which he ended up not eating because he got mad that I wasn't doing exactly what he wanted when he wanted it! - after shopping with my 93 year old mom - that's exhausting and a recipe for a migraine every week) that I confess to buying milk chocolate peanut clusters and eating them the whole way home when I really just needed good food and some rest! 

I hope that with my journey I can learn to forgive myself as easily as I can forgive others. I hope as I am developing in my chrysalis that I can emerge as beautiful as those butterflies! That I can love the people around me as much as those little critters appeared to love my children. And I hope that I will have the courage to embrace my new self and all the world has to offer. The awesome thing is that like those little butterflies, I get to bring my little awesome butterfly friends along with me when I emerge. . . 

because they are the ones that have been supporting me through my journey.

Thank you sweetie hubster for putting up with me on all my bad days! And having fun with me on the good ones! 

. . . and one day I will emerge like those beautiful Painted Lady Butterflies!