My Journey as a Fibro Coach: Fears and Phobias

Do You Have Any Fears? I sure do!

Among Spiders, Mouse Poop, and HEIGHTS (aaack!) the fear that I don't talk about E.V.E.R. . .

is my Fear of Success.

I know that's an odd fear. I'm not aware of anyone else that has this fear. I'm totally ok with failure. I just know that I need to try harder or do something different.

I'm not afraid of speaking in front of crowds, be it 10 people or 1000. It just doesn't bother me.

But being successful? That's another story.

I am a great cheerleader for anyone else, but to cheer for myself is so . . . AWKWARD!

It feels so weird. So . . . wrong!

In preparing for this blog, I found an awesome blog post about the fear of success. And I have gained some new insight that probably hit the nail on the head . . .

at least for me.

The author, Kushla Chadwick, talks about 3 subconscious fears of being successful, and the symptoms of having that fear. I think it affects more of us than I suspect.

I think that I have the fear talked about in #1. The Fear of Appearing Un-Spiritual. I was raised with a lot of these scriptures, even though I was raised in a household that didn't attend church, and I live with a hubster that talks constantly about pride and humility. It totally fits into that sub-conscious fear! I have this fear to this day. This is pretty major for me. But with actually realizing what is going on I am willing to work on it.

I wish I had knowledge of how to get past this. But I don't. At least not yet. My ultimate goal is to go to Heaven. I don't ever want to do anything to jeopardize that. I just didn't realize that I wasn't living up to the full "ME". This will take a lot of thinking and pondering on, then a plan of action. Just like getting healthy, this is going to take some work.

Because this information is so new to me, I don't even have a plan of action yet. Just an awareness.

Imagine my amazement in Section #2, The Fear of Standing Out, and finding the quote at the top of this blog post, in this section. About people's deepest fear isn't about being inadequate but being powerful. I have this quote hanging in my craft room. It so fits me. A few years ago I actively decided to overcome this part of the fear of being successful. For years I was happy to hide or stand behind my husband and let him succeed. I hid behind my kids as I cheered them towards their dreams. I hid myself behind service, housework, my health, etc. They were all excuses. And then I was faced with a challenge when I was a Camp Director for our Young Women. One of the activities we had was to follow an example of giving up "sin". Writing that "sin" on a wooden sword, and then burying the swords, thereby burying our "sins".

Mine was a sin of omission, not commission. You can guess that sin, it was hiding behind everyone and not letting my light shine. I gave that up, and it has blessed my life with some amazing opportunities and more amazing people! I am glad that I took that step, but it was a scary step. Now it's a comfortable one, and one that I'm glad I took. That fear was a good one to give up.

Fear #3 is the fear that I think most people can recognize, and one that I think holds us captive to the life we currently live . . . meaning the quest for a healthier us but not taking steps to achieve that health, that we are currently in. Fear #3 is The Fear of Change. It is tough to take first steps, and take responsibility to change our own life. It's scary to change our situations, our lives, and to possibly disappoint someone while we take our journey. What we might not realize is that the people that really care for us are willing to come on that journey with us. Those that are jealous of our journey, or discourage us from changing, probably are in our lives for the wrong reasons. People that are positive towards us, are the people that will support us. Those that aren't should probably leave. . .

I hope you take some time to list those things that you are afraid of. Those things that are keeping you from achieving your dreams and a better life.

I hope that you find a way to work through those fears. I know that I will be doing that in this week. I don't know how long it will take me to work through this, but I am willing to start processing this new knowledge today.

I want to be a healthier me, and that includes accepting myself and my strengths and successes. . . man, even typing that word for me makes me a little anxious right now. But I WILL overcome this mountain! I WILL rise!

I hope that you do too!